Armadillo - On the Half-Shell

2011-12-29T14:22:00.001-08:00

Miss Cellania's Top 20 Weird News Stories of 2011 - Mental Floss

The Queensland, Australia newspaper The Morning Bulletin covered stories from the recent floods. One livestock farmer was particularly devastated.

Mr Everingham said: "We've lost probably about 30,000 pigs in the floods, we tried to get as many weaners and suckers out by boat, but we could only save about 70 weaners, and the suckers didn't survive long, because they needed that mother's milk, and all the sows have been washed away.

But later the story was corrected.

What Baralaba piggery-owner Sid Everingham actually said was "30 sows and pigs", not "30,000 pigs"

Source: http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/111669

Wikipedia - Cool as Ice.

2011-12-19T09:04:00.000-08:00

2011-12-08T07:22:00.001-08:00

Do you have a dog?

2011-12-08T07:03:00.001-08:00

#3

2011-12-07T06:08:00.000-08:00

#2

2011-12-07T06:05:00.000-08:00

#1

2011-12-07T06:03:00.001-08:00

!!!

2011-11-30T12:49:00.000-08:00

Good Husband.

2011-10-28T08:40:00.001-07:00

Things Meatloaf will do.....

2011-10-28T08:32:00.001-07:00

Too Soon?

2011-10-19T05:23:00.001-07:00

Dangerously Cheesy

2011-10-14T06:05:00.001-07:00

Dangerously Cheesy

Featured Story:

The Count Would Be Proud

(1,181 thumbs up)

Grocery Store | John's Creek, GA, USA | Food & Eating

Customer: "Where is your mad cow cheese?"

Me: "Mad cow cheese, ma'am? Do you mean Laughing Cow cheese?"

Customer: "No! Mad cow cheese! Everyone carries it."

(At this point, I'm trying really hard not to laugh even though other customers are. I ask her to follow me and I show her the laughing cow cheese.)

Customer: "Yes! Mad cow cheese!" *takes cheese and continues shopping*

(I walk back to the area I work in, where another regular customer is waiting.)

Another customer: *laughs* "It's okay, you can laugh now."

http://d1.openx.org/ck.php?n=a9c5f643&amp;amp;cb=INSERT_RANDOM_NUMBER_HEREhttp://d1.openx.org/avw.php?zoneid=139729&amp;amp;cb=INSERT_RANDOM_NUMBER_HERE&amp;amp;n=a9c5f643

Source: http://notalwaysright.com/dangerously-cheesy/14267

Real Good.

2011-10-13T05:45:00.001-07:00

Wrong Answer.

2011-10-13T05:43:00.001-07:00

2011-10-11T13:03:00.001-07:00

War Face!

2011-10-07T08:26:00.001-07:00

Mind Powers.

2011-09-23T10:23:00.001-07:00

A bunch more...

2011-04-25T08:34:00.001-07:00

3 Pics.

2011-04-25T08:32:00.001-07:00

Ham Solo.

2011-04-25T08:31:00.001-07:00

From the Desktop.....

2011-04-07T11:11:00.000-07:00

Pics.

2011-04-07T11:10:00.000-07:00

Dump.

2011-04-07T11:09:00.001-07:00

http://imgur.com/gallery/P7JHZ

2011-03-31T09:27:00.001-07:00

http://imgur.com/gallery/P7JHZ

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://files.myopera.com/babydollxo24/albums/4039702/Kyra%2520-Gymnastics%25202010%2520026.jpg&imgrefurl=http://my.opera.com/babydollxo24/albums/showpic.dml%3Falbum%3D4039702%26picture%3D60111922&usg=__mBoG5xkmyL6Nb-HTn4hxOO0MPS0=&h=1707&w=1280&sz=515&hl=en&start=7&zoom=1&tbnid=W3Xu6qDoQwtXfM:&tbnh=150&tbnw=112&ei=BPuITYfvD86jtgfZvoX4DQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3DKarin%2BMackaliunas%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Dactive%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1111%26bih%3D512%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1

2011-03-22T12:44:00.001-07:00

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://files.myopera.com/babydollxo24/albums/4039702/Kyra%2520-Gymnastics%25202010%2520026.jpg&imgrefurl=http://my.opera.com/babydollxo24/albums/showpic.dml%3Falbum%3D4039702%26picture%3D60111922&usg=__mBoG5xkmyL6Nb-HTn4hxOO0MPS0=&h=1707&w=1280&sz=515&hl=en&start=7&zoom=1&tbnid=W3Xu6qDoQwtXfM:&tbnh=150&tbnw=112&ei=BPuITYfvD86jtgfZvoX4DQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3DKarin%2BMackaliunas%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Dactive%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1111%26bih%3D512%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Bacon.

2011-03-10T10:19:00.001-08:00

Weird Goth Girls.

2011-02-17T10:52:00.001-08:00

Even MORE Pics Today!

2011-02-17T10:51:00.001-08:00

More Pics.

2011-02-17T10:48:00.000-08:00

Pics.

2011-02-17T10:41:00.001-08:00

Pics.

2011-02-14T07:25:00.000-08:00

Emailing: Jack Weppler.jpg

2011-02-09T20:51:00.001-08:00

The message is ready to be sent with the following file or link attachments:

Jack Weppler.jpg

Note: To protect against computer viruses, e-mail programs may prevent
sending or receiving certain types of file attachments. Check your e-mail
security settings to determine how attachments are handled.

Pics - 3.

2011-01-31T07:01:00.000-08:00

Pics - 2.

2011-01-31T06:58:00.000-08:00

Pics.

2011-01-31T06:56:00.001-08:00

Missing Missy!

2011-01-31T06:55:00.001-08:00

Scotch 69.

2011-01-27T09:08:00.001-08:00

Clever Duck.

2011-01-25T11:03:00.000-08:00

Origin of Girl Pics? Party at Beta Night Club.

2011-01-20T07:48:00.001-08:00

Catching UP with the INBOX!

2011-01-20T07:46:00.001-08:00

Inbox:

2011-01-20T07:44:00.001-08:00

Clearing Inbox:

2011-01-20T07:42:00.001-08:00

Another Dump:

2011-01-20T07:40:00.001-08:00

The Terrorists have WON!

2011-01-20T07:38:00.001-08:00

Wednesday Pic Dump.

2011-01-05T14:31:00.000-08:00

Dump

2010-11-16T07:31:00.001-08:00

Old Star Wars article.... Interesting.

2010-11-16T07:30:00.000-08:00

Dump2.

2010-11-10T07:45:00.001-08:00

Dump.

2010-11-10T07:44:00.001-08:00

You keep using that word - I do not think it means what you think it means.

2010-10-27T07:01:00.001-07:00

2 Girls.....

2010-10-13T14:14:00.000-07:00

DUMP!

2010-10-08T09:06:00.001-07:00

Not-so-hot Tub.

2010-10-08T08:40:00.001-07:00

Rock out.

2010-10-08T08:37:00.003-07:00

Those were the days.

2010-10-08T08:37:00.001-07:00

What Smart Phone to use....

2010-10-08T08:36:00.000-07:00

Pic of Lee Ann in HS.

2010-10-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

What smartphone to get.

2010-10-06T09:40:00.000-07:00

Caspian Sea Monster. Ground effect vehicle on Google Maps.

2010-10-01T11:26:00.001-07:00

Now THAT's gangsta.

2010-10-01T11:21:00.000-07:00

Knock, knock.

2010-09-29T09:23:00.000-07:00

Toast - A little on the Dark Side.

2010-09-28T11:09:00.000-07:00

MacBook

2010-09-24T09:08:00.000-07:00

2010-09-23T07:46:00.000-07:00

The Force is strong with this one.

2010-09-22T13:32:00.001-07:00

Picdump.

2010-09-13T13:16:00.000-07:00

Not all weirdos are goth, but all goth are weird. These are some cute ones, though.

2010-09-13T13:14:00.001-07:00

Adoption.

2010-09-13T13:10:00.000-07:00

Picard's Face Balm.

2010-09-13T13:08:00.001-07:00

Lewis vs. Steve.

2010-09-13T13:08:00.000-07:00

This is one reality show I would watch.

2010-09-13T13:06:00.001-07:00

Just plain creepy.

2010-09-13T13:06:00.000-07:00

Pedo-Nator.

2010-09-13T13:04:00.000-07:00

I think I'm going to have to reconsider not watching soccer.

2010-09-13T13:03:00.001-07:00

What time is it?

2010-09-13T13:02:00.001-07:00

That's what she said, Leo.

2010-09-13T13:02:00.000-07:00

How to let her know you still love her.

2010-09-13T13:01:00.000-07:00

Mexican Carpooling.

2010-09-13T13:00:00.000-07:00

Error checking break up letter.

2010-09-13T12:59:00.000-07:00

Photobombing Leaning Tower Dbags.

2010-09-13T12:58:00.001-07:00

Putin vs. Obama.

2010-09-13T12:54:00.001-07:00

The Watermelon - of tremendous pain.

2010-09-13T12:53:00.000-07:00

Name at least 10 weird things going on with this picture. Go.

2010-09-01T11:33:00.001-07:00

The U.S. emasculation rate has just doubled.

2010-09-01T09:10:00.001-07:00

Seems low to me.

2010-09-01T08:28:00.001-07:00

<a href="http://theoatmeal.com/quiz/justin_bieber"><img (
'http://theoatmeal.com/quiz/justin_bieber" )
src="http://theoatmeal.com/img/quizzes/generated/17_28.jpg" alt="How
many Justin Biebers could you take in a fight?" /></a>
<p>Created by <a href="Oatmeal ( 'http://theoatmeal.com"
)http://theoatmeal.com">Oatmeal</a></p>

Funny IRC.

2010-08-31T15:27:00.001-07:00

Original from: http://www.fugly.com/victims/victimx_26/text/

VictimX_26: Hi
Cheesedog: hello
Cheesedog: who is this?
VictimX_26: just a someone?
Cheesedog: A someone I know?
VictimX_26: nope
Cheesedog: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
VictimX_26: well sorrrrrry
VictimX_26: I just wanted to chat with you
Cheesedog: why?
VictimX_26: nevermind your an asshole
Cheesedog: Hey wait a minute
VictimX_26: yes?
Cheesedog: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
VictimX_26: paranoid?
Cheesedog: yes
VictimX_26: of what?
VictimX_26: me?
Cheesedog: No. I'm in hiding.
VictimX_26: LOL
Cheesedog: Don't fucking laugh at me!
Cheesedog: This shit is serious!
VictimX_26: What are you hiding from?
Cheesedog: The cops.
VictimX_26: gimme a fucking break
Cheesedog: I'm serious.
VictimX_26: I don't get it
Cheesedog: The cops are after me.
VictimX_26: For what?
Cheesedog: I'm wanted in three states
VictimX_26: For???
Cheesedog: It's kindof embarrasing.
Cheesedog: I had sex with a turkey.
Cheesedog: Hello?
VictimX_26: You are fucking sick.
Cheesedog: Send me your picture.
VictimX_26: why?
Cheesedog: so I know you aren't one of them.
VictimX_26: One of what?
Cheesedog: The cops.
VictimX_26: I'm not a cop i told you
Cheesedog: Then send me your picture.
VictimX_26: hold on
Cheesedog: Hurry up.
Cheesedog: Are you there?
Cheesedog: Fuck you, cop!
VictimX_26: Hey sorry
VictimX_26: I had to do something for my mom.
Cheesedog: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
Cheesedog: When really you were notifying the authorities.
Cheesedog: Weren't you!?
VictimX_26: thats not it
Cheesedog: Then what?
VictimX_26: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
Cheesedog: Most cops aren't
VictimX_26: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU SHITHEAD!
Cheesedog: Then send me the picture.
VictimX_26: fine. What's your e-mail?
Cheesedog: Just send it through here.
VictimX_26: alright *PIC*
VictimX_26: Did you get it?
Cheesedog: Hold on. I'm looking.
VictimX_26: That was me back in may
VictimX_26: I've lost weight since then.
Cheesedog: I hope so
VictimX_26: what?!?
VictimX_26: that hurt my feelings.
Cheesedog: Did it?
VictimX_26: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
Cheesedog: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
VictimX_26: yes
Cheesedog: Alright let me find it.
VictimX_26: kks
Cheesedog: Okay here it is. *PIC*
VictimX_26: this isn't you.
Cheesedog: I'll be damned if it ain't!
VictimX_26: You don't look like that.
Cheesedog: How the hell do you know?
VictimX_26: cause your profile has another picture.
Cheesedog: The profile pic is a fake.
Cheesedog: I use it to hide from the cops.
VictimX_26: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Cheesedog: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
Cheesedog: Not to mention all the groceries.
VictimX_26: Go fuck yourself
Cheesedog: I was going to until I saw that picture
Cheesedog: Now my dick won't get hard for a week.
VictimX_26: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
VictimX_26: You've done nothing but slam me.
VictimX_26: you hurt me.
Cheesedog: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
VictimX_26: I thought you were bullshitting me!
Cheesedog: Why would I do that?
VictimX_26: I can't believe that cops are after you
Cheesedog: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
VictimX_26: FUCK YOU!!!
Cheesedog: You'd break both of his legs.
VictimX_26: You're a fucking asshole.
VictimX_26: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
VictimX_26: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
Cheesedog: Ok. I'm sorry.
VictimX_26: No you aren't
Cheesedog: You're right. I'm not.
Cheesedog: HAARRRRR!
VictimX_26: I'm done with you
Cheesedog: Aww. I'm sorry.
VictimX_26: I'm putting you on ignore
Cheesedog: Wait a sec
Cheesedog: We got off on the wrong foot.
Cheesedog: Wanna start over?
VictimX_26: No
Cheesedog: I'll eat your pussy
VictimX_26: You'll what?
Cheesedog: You heard me.
Cheesedog: I said I'd eat your pussy.
VictimX_26: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
Cheesedog: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?
VictimX_26: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
Cheesedog: Well I'm not like most men.
Cheesedog: I get excited in different ways.
VictimX_26: Like what?
Cheesedog: Do you really wanna know?
VictimX_26: I don't know
Cheesedog: You have to tell me yes or no.
VictimX_26: I'm afraid to
Cheesedog: Why?
VictimX_26: cause
Cheesedog: cause why?
VictimX_26: well lets see
VictimX_26: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
VictimX_26: doesn't that seem strange to you?
Cheesedog: Nope
VictimX_26: well its strange to me
Cheesedog: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
VictimX_26: I didn't say that
Cheesedog: So is that a yes?
VictimX_26: I guess so.
Cheesedog: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Cheesedog: Are you willing?
VictimX_26: What do you need me to do?
Cheesedog: I need you talk like a pirate.
VictimX_26: ???
Cheesedog: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
Cheesedog: ok?
Cheesedog: Hello?
VictimX_26: You can't be serious
Cheesedog: Oh yes I am!
Cheesedog: It's my fantasy.
VictimX_26: this is retarded
Cheesedog: Do you want it or not?
VictimX_26: Yes I want it.
Cheesedog: Then you'll do it for me?
VictimX_26: sure :)
Cheesedog: Ok. Here we go.
Cheesedog: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
Cheesedog: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
Cheesedog: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy.
Cheesedog: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.
VictimX_26: mmmm yeah
Cheesedog: uh oh ...going limp.
VictimX_26: Har
Cheesedog: You gotta do better than that!
Cheesedog: Your picture was really bad.
VictimX_26: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
Cheesedog: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke.
Cheesedog: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
Cheesedog: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
Cheesedog: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
VictimX_26: mmmmmm you are good
Cheesedog: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
Cheesedog: going limp
VictimX_26: HARRRRRRR
Cheesedog: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Cheesedog: You begin to sway back and forth.
Cheesedog: going limp
VictimX_26: this is stupid
Cheesedog: ...still limp
Cheesedog: Do it!
VictimX_26: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
Cheesedog: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
Cheesedog: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Cheesedog: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole.
VictimX_26: WTF?!?!?
Cheesedog: They stink really bad.
VictimX_26: OMG STOP!!!
Cheesedog: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
Cheesedog: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
Cheesedog: I ram it up your ass.
VictimX_26: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
Cheesedog: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Cheesedog: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
Cheesedog: I kick you in the face!
VictimX_26: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
Cheesedog: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
Cheesedog: Your parrot flys away.
Cheesedog: ...going limp again.
Cheesedog: Hello?
Cheesedog: Say it!
Cheesedog: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
VictimX_26: <USER NOT FOUND>

Poor choice of words.

2010-08-31T10:28:00.001-07:00

I didn't just see that...?

2010-08-26T10:10:00.000-07:00

Cool Rules.

2010-08-26T10:09:00.001-07:00

Best. Prank. Ever.

2010-08-26T09:50:00.001-07:00

Be thankful it wasn't a horse head.

2010-08-26T09:50:00.000-07:00

An old one, but It still makes me laugh.

2010-08-26T09:49:00.001-07:00

It's fun to flock to the.....

2010-08-26T09:48:00.001-07:00

Readhead vs. Ginger. Gingers have no souls.

2010-08-26T09:43:00.000-07:00

The Internets Made you Stupid.

2010-08-24T07:37:00.003-07:00

(Mil)House.

2010-08-24T07:37:00.001-07:00

Jean Claude Gran Dam.

2010-08-24T07:36:00.001-07:00

That's no moon......

2010-08-17T14:15:00.000-07:00

Joker's daughter.

2010-08-17T14:14:00.000-07:00

N.O.W. - I.R.O.N.

2010-08-17T14:13:00.000-07:00